Read this Before Buying a Ghost Box

I mentioned in a previous post that I love ghost hunting. I’ve been many times, and plan to go many more. But I want to take a minute to call bullshit on something that seems to be unreasonably popular in the paranormal community.

Ghost boxes.

Some people call them spirit boxes. Others use fancy, technical sounding names like ‘SB11’ or ‘Ovilus 5’. Whatever you want to call them, I think they’re a bad idea. Don’t worry though. If you read through to the end, there’s a better option waiting for you.

For those of you unfamiliar with the technology, there are a couple different kinds of spirit boxes. One type scans through radio stations, picking up random signals. The other, like the Ovilus, is essentially just an electronic collection of pre-programmed words. Depending on who you talk to, there are different ways spirits can communicate through these devices.

One theory is that ghosts simply have the ability to make their voices heard through electronics. This is a pretty common theory, both in the paranormal community, as well as in fictional horror. If you have a scanning style box, the ghosts would communicate using the radio frequencies alongside or over any other sounds that come from the device. In the case of the electronic dictionary, they either have the ability to find and pick the words, or the box acts as a translator. Kind of like google translate, but instead of translating one language to another, it translates spirit energy into human words.

Another theory (which I’m not going to spend much time on it, because it’s a bit out there, even for me) is that spirits essentially have the same ability as Bumblebee from the Transformers, and can pick currently-playing radio clips to answer your questions. Now, I’m typically not one to say things are impossible…but…really?

So, let’s go back to the first theory. In my personal opinion, the idea that ghosts can communicate through electronics really isn’t that hard to accept if you’re already considering the possibility that ghosts might be real. My problem with ghost boxes is that if the theory IS correct, they’re designed in the worst possible way for anyone trying get credible or verifiable results.

Let’s take a look at some of the reasons.

    • They’re loud. Stupidly loud. At least, most of the spirit boxes I’ve seen in action are. So, basically what you’re doing is sitting in a quiet room, playing the loudest, most obnoxious sound you can find, and then hoping your ears or subconscious aren’t playing tricks on you when something that sounds like it might be an answer to your question comes through. I mean, even in normal conditions, we mishear things all the time. Were you around back in the days before we could google song lyrics? “Excuse me while I kiss this guy.” “There’s a bathroom on the right.”

Seriously. How much of the lyrics to “Smells Like Teen Spirit” did you actually know before you had google? But you want to trust a two second clip of a grainy  electronic voice that you heard under migraine-inducing circumstances?

Also, if I was a ghost and someone brought one of those loud-ass machines into my house, I’d throw it across the room and smash it. If I wasn’t strong enough to do that, I’d leave.

    • Picture this. You’re in a dark room and you turn on your ghost box. It starts scanning through radio stations. You ask questions. Nothing happens. You ask more questions. Still nothing. Then, suddenly (as you start to ask another question)—you hear a word! It’s so exciting!

But, is it really? It’s a machine that scans through radio stations. OBVIOUSLY you’re going to hear words eventually when you’re frequency hopping. There will be words whether there are ghosts or not. At some point, you’re going to hit a station that has something on it. So, even if there IS a ghost, and even if it DID talk to you through the box, you still have no way to verify that’s what actually happened. The same is true for the dictionary style boxes. Maybe the word was chosen or spoken by a ghost who was answering your question. But maybe it wasn’t. Unless you get a full sentence with a ghost saying, “My name is Jane Doe, and I died in 1872 when my ex stabbed me,” and then you’re able to verify that statement with historical documentation…you don’t have solid evidence.

And I’ve never seen an instance, even on the fakest of the fake shows, where that’s happened.

    • I’m sure this last one will piss some people off, but I promise I’m not accusing anyone of anything. I’m sure the people who make and sell the ghost boxes are probably good people who are not trying to scam anyone. But we do have to consider the possibility that words could be coming up randomly. The scanner may be picking up live stations, and those are the words you’re hearing. Or, even though they all say they don’t have any programming that makes words come up…maybe (unintentionally) there is something in the programming that causes words to pop up in the dictionary-style devices. Even if it’s not intentional, this would make the boxes seem to work more often than they actually do which, quite frankly, is necessary for people to continue buying the product. People wouldn’t keep buying them if they didn’t get results.

Of course, it’s surely possible to test that last one if you know enough about programming. But most people who purchase these devices don’t. And really, who’s going to test all the different devices and then have the platform to share the results? Who’s going to then test those results to make sure it wasn’t a fluke, or a mistake, or something less innocent? It’s not like there’s an abundance of funding available for paranormal research. So, even if these devices DO work exactly as advertised…it still won’t be enough for someone who’s even the teeny tiniest bit skeptical to consider it evidence.

So, what should you use instead of a ghost box? You’re in luck! I’ve discovered an amazing device that works with the same theory (ghosts speaking through electronics), but eliminates the problems you find with the current ghost boxes and apps.

It’s called a radio.

Some of you may be too young to know about these crazy devices, so I’ll explain. Radios are what people used to listen to music on before downloads and streaming services were a thing. They’re the base technology for many ghost boxes. The great thing is, if you use a regular, old-school style radio (the ones that came before “digital” was an everyday term), you can cut out most of the ghost box problems.

Radio
You have to use one like this, with the dials. No digital!

If you use a radio, you can pick one station that you know won’t have anything playing on it and just keep it tuned there, instead of jumping between stations like a sentient robot on a bad acid trip. If ghosts actually can speak to us through electronics, this should be significantly easier for them than navigating a spirit box. Instead of trying to jump in on whatever frequency the box scans through at any given second, fighting to be heard over other sounds, or having to pick words from a list, the ghost can simply speak. Just set the radio to a station that’s out of range of any signals, and the spirit has free reign to say whatever it wants. Or, maybe they’ll just change the station to find their jam.

Either way, if you get a response, you’ll KNOW it was real. No one would have had any reason to program random words into a $10 radio you got from Target, Amazon, or whatever discount store is closest to your home. It’s also much quieter, and doesn’t sound like you’re trying to cause someone three miles away to have a seizure. And of course, since the sound of a radio that isn’t picking up a station is fairly consistent (usually static), it will be much harder for your subconscious mind to hear words that aren’t there. If you do, they likely won’t be the same words the people around you heard, which will make debunking the situation much easier than if you were using a ghost box.

Of course, this option is only better if you’re actually looking for the truth. If you’re filming a show or a video and you want something exciting to show your fans, definitely get a ghost box. Buy the most expensive one so everyone knows how serious you are. Filming a video with a group of people sitting in the dark listening to static would be boring. No one would watch that.

Or, maybe you want to make sure every investigation is exciting so your friends stay interested. In that case, by all means, buy the box. Or maybe an app, which are usually cheaper. You should probably sneak into places too. That helps with the adrenaline.

(DISCLAIMER: Please don’t actually sneak in. If you do, leave me out of it when you get caught. Obviously you shouldn’t break the law. Always get permission when ghost hunting.)

 

But if you’re looking for actual evidence, something even a skeptic might consider…save your money and by a cheap radio.

Ghost in a Box
I call this masterpiece “Ghost in a Box on a Post-it”

What are your thoughts? Do you use ghost boxes? Have you already tried a standard radio instead? Tell me your experiences in the comments.

Is This the Day Creativity Dies?

This post is going to be a bit different than most of my others. I’ll go back to my “normal” content after this. I’ll go back to writing about scary stories, horror movies, and ghost hunting. I’ll go back to the monsters, vampires, and magick. I’ll go back to turning every holiday (and any average day) into Halloween. The supernatural will be here, waiting for you, as it’s meant to be.

But I’ve seen a disturbing trend on the internet (I know…shocking, right?), and I feel it needs to be addressed.

If you’re reading this years from now— or maybe just months, given our attention span these days—the world is currently in the middle of a pandemic. But unlike during other natural disasters, we still have the internet. There was no hurricane to take out the power, no tornados to knock out phone service. And while the disease is causing tragedy, pain, and fear for far too many people, it’s simply magical for the internet. More specifically, it has brought out an immense creative drive in people who would otherwise be spending their time at work, bars, sporting events, and all the other places we’re not allowed to go right now.

It’s not the creative content that scares me, of course. I love that. I’m grateful for it every day. And I know for so many others, whose situations are far worse than mine, there are some days these moments of creativity may be the only thing that brings a smile to their faces. This content is everything the internet should be on any given day, regardless of the plague status.

The frightening thing is that this creative renaissance is very likely temporary. And that sucks. That’s not how it should be. I’ve even seen comments (sometimes directed at my own creative endeavors, but more often directed at others) saying things like, “you’ve definitely got too much time on your hands,” or “looks like quarantine has finally broken you.”

Is this the world we’re living in? Are we living in a time when creativity and fun, beauty and humor, art and entertainment, are things to be avoided unless we’ve been driven crazy by the temporary lifestyle caused by a killer virus? Do we only create content that makes other people happy if we’re so bored we can’t find one single other thing to do?

Please tell me that’s not the case.

Please tell me that when everything calms down and we all go back to our normal lives, the new-found creativity so many of you have discovered won’t die.

Please keep it going when the world goes back outside.

Because if you don’t; if creativity is something we only use as a last resort…

 

Well, then maybe we really are living in a horror movie after all.

Basil
This is Basil. He doesn’t want us to live in a horror movie. He wants you to check out my YouTube, and is super excited for his YouTube debut coming soon…

If this was a Horror Movie, Would You be Dead?

I’m always making fun of people in horror movies.

“Don’t go in the basement! Everyone knows that!”

“That noise was OBVIOUSLY NOT the cat!”

“Why would you go out in the woods by yourself!?!?”

“PUT THE OUIJA BOARD AWAY!”

How could anyone have such horrible decision-making skills? Do the writers really think people are this stupid?

But then I thought about it a little more. Maybe it was after opening a cupboard that I heard close behind me when I was alone and the cupboards were already closed. Or maybe it was after I went down into the basement alone to investigate a strange sound. Once these things happened, I started noticing, and remembering, other behaviors as well. This made me stop and think.

Are the decisions people make in horror movies unusually bad? Ok, yeah. Some of them REALLY are.

But without the scary music telling us something’s about to happen, without the ominous lighting or unnerving camera angles, without knowing we’re in a horror movie — how many terrible decisions would the average person make?

Let’s take a look at some things I personally have done that are probably going to get me killed if we find out this thing we call “life” is actually a horror movie. I’ll start with 25, but I’m sure there are more.

  1. Investigated sounds that came from other rooms, basements, and attics.
  2. Talked to strangers.
  3. Ignored a sound because I assumed it was just a cat or the wind.
  4. Read something out loud in a language I wasn’t fluent in.
  5. Had sex.
  6. Used a Ouija board.
  7. Played a ‘paranormal’ games, like Bloody Mary and Light as a Feather.
  8. Walked or ran in the woods alone.
  9. Walked through a dark parking lot to my car by myself.
  10. Got drunk.
  11. Walked down an alley at night.
  12. Walked around a big city alone.
  13. Hung out with my friends without telling anyone exactly where we’d be.
  14. Went into a building that had a reputation for being haunted.
  15. Attempted to talk to ghosts in the haunted building.
  16. Went to a medium, psychic, or tarot card reader.
  17. Ignored advice from a weird old stranger.
  18. Said “that was weird,” when something strange happened, then promptly ignored it.
  19. Didn’t get rid of the electronic toy that regularly turned on by itself.
  20. Said, “I’ll be right back.”
  21. Bought old things at a garage sales and antique stores.
  22. Went back to sleep without checking to see why the pile of clothes in my room looked like a person or monster.
  23. Listened to music loud enough that I couldn’t tell if someone (or something) was behind me.
  24. Started talking to someone who came in the door without checking to make sure it was the person I assumed had come in.
  25. Ignored the creepy feeling that someone was watching me.

So, hopefully this isn’t the beginning of a horror movie. But if it is, I hope the audience isn’t making fun of me too much. Because I can’t hear the music, or see the creepy lighting, or feel off balance from the camera angles. Everything seems normal, just like it would have to the victims in the movies until whatever was terrorizing them actually showed up.

What about you? How many things have you done that would have had the audience screaming “Don’t do that!”?  Let me know in the comments.

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I also put spiders outside when I find them in the house, even though I know that didn’t end well for the people in Arachnophobia.

 

A More-or-Less True-ish Tale of St. Patrick

This is a post I’ve copied over from my now defunct blog on blogger. It’s not about creepy things like most of my new posts (unless you really think about the history), but it was one of my more popular pieces on the old blog, so I figured I’d share it anyway since it’s that time of year.

Just a note for my international readers. This probably only makes sense if you spend a lot of time, or have a lot of friends, in the USA.

A More-or-Less True-ish Tale of St. Patrick

St. Patrick is the patron saint of Ireland, even though he was never formally made a saint by the church. He also drove all the snakes out of Ireland. Of course, there weren’t any snakes there to begin with. It seems to me he should be the patron saint of ‘work smart, not hard’.

Unless of course we’re going with the generally accepted metaphor of ‘snakes’ being pagans. Then he likely worked pretty hard. No one really knows how much actual driving out of pagans he did versus just converting them, but I’m going to guess at least some violence ensued, as it usually does when you try to destroy an entire religion.

So, what are we celebrating? His death of course. It makes sense if you think about it. Here’s a guy whose life mission was to force his religion on those who disagreed with him. So, now we celebrate his death in honor of all those souls who died, were driven from their homes, or were forced to live without their gods until death came naturally. We drink in honor of these souls.

All of them.

We must honor the snakes who were needlessly driven from their homes. Some were driven from their physical homes. Others had their home driven from their hearts. But we must honor them.

Every. Last. One.

And that, my friends, is the reason we get completely smashed on St. Patrick’s Day.

 

st. patrick's shots (2)

Bloody Valentine’s Day

Ah, Valentine’s Day. The day where we celebrate a saint (or saints) who may (or may not) have existed, and a fat baby with wings who uses humans as target practice to hone his bow hunting skills.

Of course, it’s great for the economy as well. It’s a little known fact that St. Valentine was actually the patron saint of showing affection through a waste of money. In fact, there used to be a festival where young lovers would set fire to their money and other possessions to show how much they loved each other. The more you burned, the more you loved. Thankfully, Hallmark and Hershey came up with a better way to celebrate. (None of that’s true, except for the economy part.)

Still, we always look for ways to celebrate beheaded saints that maybe existed and homicidal baby angels. How will I do that today?

Makeup! But not just any makeup…

BLOODY makeup!

Bloody VD 10

 

Please enjoy the following tutorial for this bloody Valentine’s celebration on my face.

The hearts are prosthetics that will (hopefully) be reusable. These need to be made ahead of time, because they take a long time to dry. You could technically do this right on your skin a few different ways…but I’m not patient enough to wait for things to dry on my skin.

Using liquid latex, “draw” some heart shapes on a piece of wax paper with the handle of a makeup brush, or one of those wooden thingies from manicure sets. I just use it as-is, but if you’re concerned that you won’t be able to get it to match your skin when it’s dry, you can mix it with some foundation in your skin color. It will look something like this.

Bloody VD 2

You may have to go over them a couple of times as they firm up to build them up so they’re thick enough to peel off without tearing when they’re dry. Check on them every so often, and once they’re tacky, but not all-the-way-dry, take a toothpick or your wooden thingy and “scoop” out a track along the inside of the hearts.

Then let them dry over night. Once they’re dry there should be some thin parts in the heart outline.

Bloody VD 3

Cut some of the thinner parts out. I like to cut out as much as possible without the heart losing its shape (or just becoming two separate pieces).

From here, you want to stick them on your face using more liquid latex, then apply your foundation. Obviously don’t do this if you’re allergic to latex. Or foundation. I feel like I shouldn’t have to say that…but it’s the internet, so you never know.

Bloody VD 4

Now, when I first thought of doing this, I was going to do the entire look using only blood. Fake blood, of course. You can’t prove otherwise.

But I decided to go with a little more dimension than you can get with just blood…and I also wanted an excuse to use my Sabrina palette. Yes, I’m a grown woman who watches shows about witches in high school. No, I don’t care what you think about it.

Bloody VD 5
I seriously love this palette.

For the eyes, I based it out using ‘Hell on Earth’, added ‘Unholy Union’ to the outer third or so of the lids and extended it for a wing. I blended the inside corners and brow line with ‘Eternal Bliss.’ And I used tape, even though a lot of people say not to. I’m unskilled. Deal with it.

I suppose if, for some weird reason, you didn’t want your Valentine’s makeup to include blood, you could skip the prosthetic, tone the wing down, add some regular blush, lipstick, and mascara, then stop at this point. But why wouldn’t you want to add blood? Especially when I’m about to show you the greatest fake blood that has ever existed in the entire history of fake blood.

Bloody VD 7
Here it is. Back in the glory of the best fake blood ever.

The great thing about this blood is that you can make it whatever consistency you want, and it looks super real.  It also stays on better than any blood I’ve used before. It can stain though. A lot. So, be careful of that.

I mixed it into a kind of jelly consistency, but then after I took the picture below, I added a little more water so it was part congealed goo, and part viscous ooze. Both terms scream “Valentine’s Day,” right?

Bloody VD 8

From here, I stopped taking pictures as often as I probably should have for a good tutorial. But essentially what I did was to add a messy top wing with the blood (all my wings are messy…but that actually works for this type of look). Then I dabbed the blood under my eyes, and textured it over the rest of my eye shadow.

From there, I added blood to the heart prosthetics, making sure to get the chunky congealed bits into the parts I cut open earlier.

Bloody VD 9

I also added the blood on and around my lips. Full disclosure, I have no idea whether or not this is safe, so I advise you to follow the instructions on your blood package before doing this. Don’t throw the packaging away so you have no instructions. Like I did. And don’t do this if the package says it’s unsafe.

So, there you have it. Just in case Valentine’s Day wasn’t Halloween enough for you. Now I’m off to spend the weekend watching some of the many brilliant Valentine’s Day inspired horror movies.

 

Bloody VD Tink
Here’s what it looks like after you take the potentially unsafe blood off your lips, and cozy onto the couch with the kitty.

Do you have any fun ways to turn Valentine’s Day into winter Halloween? I’d love to hear them!

Ghost Hunting and Being Weird: Unsolicited Advice #1

I’m kind of a weirdo. If you’re reading this because you’ve read other things I’ve written, you probably knew that already. But today, I want to talk about one particular weirdness I have going on.

Confession: I love ghost hunting. Like, a lot. I’ve been to the Ohio State Reformatory in Mansfield four times. I’ve been on official hunts in local haunted places a handful of times, and kept my eyes open for anything that might be paranormal while hanging around said places for non-ghost hunting reasons. I’ve even been to a paranormal convention, and plan to attend another this spring. Oh yeah, and my sister and I took a vacation to New Orleans, specifically to do all the supernatural based historic tours (and to see alligators…but my love of scaly, squirmy, slithery creatures will have to be the subject of another blog).

IMG_9796
Would you go down these stairs? I would. (If there’s no sign telling me not to. Safety first!)

 

Now, I assume if you’re here, it’s for one of two reasons. Either you’re family and feel like you have to read this, or you’re into spooky things too. So why, surrounded by fellow spooks, do I think ghost hunting makes me weird? It’s because even among the strange and unusual; the horror writers, the scream queens, the readers and watchers of all things creepy—most people don’t actively seek out the paranormal.

There are plenty of completely logical reasons for this. Some simply see scary things as a form of entertainment, an adrenaline rush. They don’t, even for a moment, believe any of it is real. If they’re right, then wandering around in the dark talking to nothing would be pretty ridiculous. Then we have the opposite extreme; people who are 100% sure there are supernatural creatures lurking in the dark, just waiting for the right moment to strike. Some of these folks will avoid everything even a little scary at all costs. But others consume all things creepy, not to get that nice safe buzz of adrenaline, but as a sort of research…from a safe distance. They want to be aware of every possibility so they have a fighting chance when the things come for them—and probably so they can say ‘told you so’ when zombies pull out your intestines.

Of course, there’s quite the range in between these extremes. There always is. Some people simply lean a bit one way or the other. But me? I’m as close to exactly in the middle as one can possibly get. I can’t say I fully believe that ghost (or other supernatural) sightings are real. But I’m not counting it out either. And unlike so many others in this position, I WANT to know the truth.

So, I hunt. Not like Sam and Dean. I don’t have a shotgun filled with rock salt, and I don’t carry weapons made of silver and iron. But I do have dowsing rods, an EMF detector, and a laser pointer that kind of makes a grid. And yeah, I’ve tried a couple spirit box apps on my phone, and I burn sage when I get home.

A lot of people think this is weird.

And that’s ok.

There’s nothing wrong with other people thinking you’re odd. There are so many people out there who believe they’ll only be happy if they fit in with a certain group. They do everything they can to look the way they ‘should’ and say the ‘right’ things. And more often than not, they succeed. They blend in to their chosen crowd.

But they never get to be happy.

They give up all the weird things they enjoy. They spend all their time pretending to like things the ‘cool kids’ like. But that’s not the worst part. The worst part is that if you live your life like that, it’s nearly impossible to make real friends, to find people whom you can confide in.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not trash talking the cool kids. But the fact is, when you turn yourself into something you’re not in order to fit in with the right people they’re not the right people for you. They might be good people. They might even be great people. But they don’t even know who you are. Not really. Because you never let them. You hid everything real about yourself to fit in. So even if they are great people, even if they want to be there for you, how can they? The person you’ve shown them isn’t really you. They don’t know what you need. They can’t.

So don’t do that.

We have the internet now. It’s fairly easy to find people who like the same things you do, or who, at the very least, will love you even if they think some of your hobbies are super weird. So do the strange things you like to do. Watch the strange things you want to watch. Read, write, paint, listen, and dance in all the strange ways and to all the strange things that make you happy.

You’ll find your people, and they’ll find you. Best of all, you’ll make the other weirdos happy, and you’ll give them a place where they fit in, where they feel safe. You’ll find each other. You’ll be the real you. You’ll find happiness.

 

Let’s start now, shall we? Leave a comment and tell me what weird things make you happy. Tell me what makes you who you are. 🙂

IMG_9883
The best doorways are the ones that creek and make creepy shadows. Always go through those doors. And don’t forget to tell me what you find!

 

Make New Year’s Halloween Again

I wasn’t going to post a blog for the changing of the year, but then on the 2nd I realized I had already written one that I had forgotten about. I debated waiting until next year to post it, but let’s be realistic. If I forgot about it a week after I wrote it, am I really going to remember it next year? No. No I am not. Sure, we have technology and I could set any number of reminders, but I don’t think many people are reading this anyway, so I might as well just throw it out there. If you were planning to make your New Year’s plans based on my blog, many apologies. You could set yourself a reminder to read it again next year. 🙂

Some people like to celebrate New Year’s with fireworks, champagne, and kisses at midnight. Or maybe there’s a resolution you’ve been saving up, because who wants to better themselves on any of the other 364 days that come around each year?

Sure, these things have their place, but do you know what would really make this holiday special? Costumes. And ghosts.

Yes, I know Halloween is over until October, but does it really have to be? Let’s face it. Half the things people wear on New Year’s Eve are pretty close to being costumes already. Or, were you going to wear those shiny pants and sequined top to work next Wednesday? No? Didn’t think so. And where did that guy even find a diaper and bonnet that fit him? Good thing he’s drinking so much, otherwise he’d be freezing.

See…basically Halloween.

So go ahead and wear a costume. Throw on some cat ears and a tail with your leopard-print outfit. Put on some antlers and greenery, you beautiful pagan god or goddess. And who cares if there are three different versions of Father Time and Baby New Year at the party? Make yours steampunk. Or zombify it. Get creative. The ghosts will love it.

That’s right. The ghosts.

Ghosts LOVE winter. Why wouldn’t they? It’s dark. So dark. At least, in many parts of the world (apologies if you’re reading this from the southern hemisphere). In some places, it’s not even that light when the sun is out, because on top of the shortened days, it’s also cloudy most of the time. I’m in Ohio right now, and when I wrote this originally, I couldn’t remember the last time I had seen the sun or a blue sky. The weather hasn’t been great for nature photography or other outdoor activities, but the ghosts are loving it. It’s like summer vacation, but with cold weather. And, once you don’t have a body, who cares about the cold?

The ghosts may begin their party on All Hallows Eve, but that’s just the start. The shortest day of the year is the winter solstice, around the 21st of December. That’s much closer to New Year’s than to Halloween. The ghosts are definitely still here…assuming they ever leave at all.

So, what do we do about it? You could panic. That’s always fun. Bust out the sage, or call a priest, or whatever it is you do when you’re pretending you can fight something you can’t see. But I prefer a kinder, more inclusive approach. After you kiss your lover, or random stranger, at midnight, take a moment to send a loving thought to those who are no longer with us. That alcohol you’re guzzling with your friends and loved ones? Pour a glass for the spirits of the departed. And please, call an Uber, or Lyft, or friend so you don’t join the departed too soon.

Of course, there’s always the option to use this time of darkness to communicate with the dead. Perhaps your new New Year’s traditions should include dowsing rods or a Ouija board.

No matter how small or how elaborate the gesture, I’m sure the ghosts will appreciate it.

And since it IS the season for resolutions, keep in mind you have a whole year to let the spirits know you’re thinking of them. You can always resolve to make this coming year as spooky as possible.

 

I certainly hope you do.

 

Do you have a not-so-traditional New Year’s tradition? I’d love to hear about it in the comments!

White Tail in the Snow
Keep winter creepy AND cute by hanging out with the wildlife in your local cemetery.

Keep Christmas Creepy, My Friends

By now, everyone knows Christmas is based on pagan traditions. You’re most likely even pretty familiar with Krampus by now. Thanks internet!

Of course, there are probably already half a billion blogs floating around about all the creepy Christmas traditions that so many people have forgotten about, so I’m not going to write another one. But you definitely should google it. It’s a great rabbit hole. However, if you can’t handle an internet time suck right now, because Christmas chaos and such, I still recommend at least reading this article from Smithsonian that talks about the history of telling ghost stories during this time of year. Yay ghost stories!

In any case, what I really want to talk about is how we can bring back the original spookiness of the season. Sure, you could sit around and tell ghost stories like they did before TV, but let’s be honest. Most people under 30 aren’t going to listen unless you record it and upload it to YouTube first.

So, how do we make Christmas creepy again? I have some ideas…

  • You know that annoying elf? The one parents stress over moving every night? Sure you do. So now, do that. Only, instead of using the licensed one, go buy the creepiest thrift store doll you can find, and don’t tell anyone in your house that you bought it. Also, if they ask, deny that you have any idea where it came from. Do you live alone? Sneak it into a friend’s house instead.

 

  • Get a live Christmas tree. They’re filled with insects, which will wake up from their winter dormancy and infest your warm, cozy home. Maybe. Or so I’ve heard. But still definitely tell this to everyone you know who has a live tree. Bonus points if you heard about a friend of a friend who went to the hospital with a terrible ringing in his ear and a splitting headache, only to find out an earwig crawled out of the tree and burrowed into his ear.

 

  • Do you prefer not lying to your friends and family? Well, it won’t be as exciting, but there are a TON of holiday themed horror movies available for your viewing pleasure. Check out this nowhere-near-complete list. It’s an odd collection of new and old, big budget and low budget, popular and indie.

 

  1. The Nightmare before Christmas
  2. Krampus
  3. Black Christmas
  4. Gremlins
  5. A Christmas Horror Story
  6. Anna and the Apocalypse
  7. Silent Night, Deadly Night
  8. Shelved

 

Do you have a favorite holiday horror movie or creepy tradition? Let me know in the comments!

Holiday Hiding
This photo and many other used on this site are available for purchase on my Redbubble site.

 

All Hallows Read (a little late)

I meant to post this at Halloween, in honor of All Hallows Read. But…I didn’t. However, since the story was one of my more popular posts on my old blogger site, which I’ve since taken down, I wanted to share it anyway. I’ll be sharing a few of my better posts from that blog throughout the year. I’ll also include plenty of new spooky stuff, writing stuff, writing about spooky stuff, and spooky stuff about writing.

Probably cute animal pics and occasional anger, too. It is the internet, after all.

In any case, please click here to enjoy my short story, “Campfire Stories,” along with many other spooktacular stories and poems in the October 2019 issue of Sirens Call.

Then, come back in a couple of weeks and I’ll tell you all about some of the creepier Christmas traditions of times past, and how we can bring them back in today’s crazy, busy, tech-obsessed world.

Happy super-late Halloween!

Tink and Ghoul